Kevin de Jong
Hello fellow Mathematicians. I am standing as you Imperial Mathsionalist Party (IMP for short) candidate. Here is the first paragraph from our manifesto.
A spectre is haunting the Maths common room – the spectre of Mathsionalism. For nearly a decade, the banal bureaucrats in the Union, the wannabe corporate sharks from DocSoc, the trite, cheery people elected into the MathSoc leadership year after year, have been slowly eroding away at everything true Mathematicians hold dear viz. the Ivory Towers vision that the Queeen's Tower itself represents at Imperial College. The long wilful neglect of the soul of the true Mathematicians has, in our humble and outraged opinion, amalgamated in the form of that most threatening creature from Joint Maths and Computing, in short, the JMC.
The Mathsionalist Party promises to:
• Ban the Axiom of Choice
• Expel the nefarious JMCs from the common room
• Introduce a new programme of collectivised austerity within the department
• Stop sending money to DocSoc
• Spend this money on free food
• Install AI facial recognition in Huxley to prevent the intrusion of programmers
• Install hobs for cooking, a 90 inch TV and a pool table in the common room
• Smash the Unions, specifically (and also limited to) Imperial College student union
Let the ruling classes tremble at a Mathsionalistic revolution. True Mathematicians have nothing to lose but their chains. They have a world to win.
True Mathematicians of the world unite! Unite as The Mathsionalists!
For our full manifesto see below.